Archive for September, 2006

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Saturday Morning Cartoons with Dick Devos

September 30, 2006

I love elephants – there’s so big and funny and they’re afraid of MICE! SILLY!!!
I’m not afraid of anything. Except for Betsy’s brother Eric and his army. And class action lawsuits. And the thought that the Michigan press might accidentally investigate me. And bunnymen.

I think that Michigan Progress made this. Welcome to “the List”.

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Devos/Granholm Debate: The Head has thrown down the gauntlet!

September 29, 2006

Let's Get Ready to Rumble

That’s right, Pinkos!! On Monday, October 2nd at 7:30 PM EST (or whenever the Billionairess lets me come out to play), the Disembodied Head of Dick Devos will take on ALL COMERS in an Internet-ially Televised Michigan Gubernatorial Debate Live Blogging Cage Match.

Granted the concept of the Disembodied Head in single combat vs. Michigan’s Titans of Tolerance doesn’t seem quite fair, but I can’t tie any hands behind my back so deal with it!

Let’s get ready to RUMMMMMBLE!!

UPDATE! I totally won! You can check here for the Liveblog from the debate and also see all my other Michigan Governor’s Debate new & reports. Also note that if you say “Gubernatorial” right (goober-natorial), people will think you’re smart. You can accomplish the same result by wearing glasses though!

Also, check out this post-debate photo gallery from That Saul (is a liar) Folks!

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Dick Devos is made of money … and soap … but mostly money

September 28, 2006

Dick Devos is made of money

Ooooh! Dick Devos has spent $18 million dollars in the campaign! Horrors! Dick Devos is going to spend $60 million! Gasp! How can Dick Devos even spend $60 million?
Wake up, Michigan. $60 million dollars is but a drop in the Bucket o’ Billions that is the Devos Fortune, and TV & radio ads aren’t the only place Dick Devos will spend his money. He will spend it on the web and he will spend it on billboards and he will give temporary jobs to people as the election approaches.

It would not be one bit surprising if Dick Devos decided to use the Devos family fortune to establish or seed a Michigan-wide version of the Kalamazoo Promise or attempted some similar vote-buying disguised as philanthropy ploy because make no mistake about it,  Dick Devos is made of money.

In October, Dick Devos will bury Michigan in a blizzard of money and the only question you should be asking is “What CAN’T Dick Devos buy with his billions?”
PS: Having stolen millions and millions from Amway rubes, I’m not at all concerned about stealing from artists!

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Dick Devos Dance Party!

September 28, 2006

This came in on the morning download from a deep-cover CHUDD operative stationed with the Michigan Caucus. Haven’t had time to watch all of it but it looks like it’s targeted toward the young folk with their crazy dancing and cubicle jobs. Vote for me, youngsters, I’ll let you ride on my boat!

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Lee Iacocca Ad for Dick Devos would warm my heart … if I had one of course

September 25, 2006

There’s been so much negativity and attacks lately that I thought we should all take a minute and watch one of Michigan’s most beloved corporate icons and pitchmen, Mr. Lee Iacocca in the Devos campaign‘s latest TV ad, What He Makes.

Except that you CAN’T watch it here. For security reasons. We don’t want information just FLYING ALL OVER THE INTERNETS now do we? Of course not. Security. Secrecy. Need to know basis, these must be our watchwords in our quest to put Dick Devos in the Governor’s office. Or Presidency. I forget which The Billionairess said something about stepping stones. I was coloring so I had to concentrate on that. So anyway, you’ll have to click to go see the ad. Until some commie with a DVR rips the commercial or course.
I should point out that Lee Iacocca doesn’t actually live in Michigan any more and that this commercial was filmed at his California home.

I should also point out that the commercial never actually mentions Amway/Alticor/Quixtar as Dick Devos’s business. But we all know that Dick Devos is Amway, right?

The important part to focus on the image of Dick Devos as a go-getter, a Michigan manufacturer who “toughed things out”. Except that Dick Devos actually sent a boatload of money to China and 1400 Michigan workers to the unemployment line when the going got tough.

Christine Barry sez Iacocca and DeVos have a few things in common

Iacocca closed plants and cut nearly half of the workforce at Chrysler. DeVos closed distribution centers and cut nearly half of his employees at Amway.

Iacocca asked the government for a $1.2 billion bailout. DeVos asked the government for a $300 million tax gift.

A bunch of other stuff comparing the records of Lee Iococca & Dick Devos.

Still, you have to admit that Lee Iacocca delivers a warm and touching tribute to Dick Devos. Let’s all gaze in Lee Iococca’s soothing eyes and turn away from everything else. Yes. Sleepier and sleepier, Michigan.

Lee Iococca

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Numbers make me sleepy (Michigan’s Unemployment Rate over 16 years)

September 24, 2006

Michigan's Unemployment Rate over the last 16 years

The boys at CHUDD sent this over. Couldn’t figure it out so I pasted pictures of Michigan’s governors on it … and Mariah Carey and Norah Jones .. Mariah & Norah don’t make things any clearer for me, but it’s prettier! Notice how I managed to fit their popular albums (Mariah Carey’s self titled debut & Norah Jones’ Feels Like Home) in between Michigan’s unemployment rate and the national unemployment rate. I asked the Billionairess for a star for staying inside the lines but she just looked at me.
The numbers at the right might have something to do with the gubernatorial head elevation. Maybe.

Had to add this Do you SEE the huge gap that Job Loss Jenny Granholm has opened? It’s almost unprecidented in Michigan history! Except for that thing in the early 90s, but that was the failed legacy of Democratic governor James Blanchard and Michigan Do-Nothing Democrat legislature’s fault as I remember things. Took Big John Engler quite a few years to sort THAT mess out let me tell you.

Anderson Economic Group does some fine work for the Mackinac Institute of Public Policy, Michigan’s cutting edge conservative think-tank. Anderson’s Michigan unemployment over 16 years chart-thingee is on this page.

Hmmm. The Soup Lady is mumbling down there about  budget surpluses, low unemployment, low inflation, low interest rates, low poverty levels, and rising wages. Also something about Democrats being fiscally responsible and tax cuts being tax deferrals through out of control budget deficits we Republicans like to run. Crazy talk. Can we get back to discussing my kooky but ultimately meaningless positions on evolution please?

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Stop Devos doesn’t like Dick Devos … and the feeling is MUTUAL

September 21, 2006

What’s “Oh No” to the third power?

Mad as HellNow this makes me REALLY mad. Here’s someone who says forget about China, forget about the fact that there’s no economic plan, the simple fact that Dick Devos was President of Amway should disqualify him from being Governor of Michigan.

Now I spent a heck of a lot of time getting people worked up about China and my hazy plan because I can and WILL make those things disappear with an October surprise wave of my hand and I object to any attempt to reframe the issue around Amway. Read the ruling, Amway is not an ILLEGAL pyramid scheme. Is it my fault that the pyramid structure is unfair? No, blame that on geometry. Stupid geometry. We’ll get rid of geometry and replace it with something more useful in the modern world. Intelligent design maybe.

Welcome to “the List”, Mr. Stop Devos. And by the way, The Head doesn’t torture puppies. Kittens every so often, but only liberal ones!