Archive for the ‘the billionairess’ Category

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It came from beyond…

November 7, 2006

Attack of the Killer Heads

In a time of darkness, when Hope seemed to have gone out for a pack of smokes and ended up on a boat to China, when television seemed to have become nothing more than an ad delivery service, when the most flawed candidate in the history of our state seemed like a credible threat, well, in those days the people of Michigan finally got a chance to have their say.

Vote, people, and get your friends, relatives and total strangers to do the same.

Michigan’s future isn’t for sale.

UPDATES GALORE:

Ominous music to hum on Election Day!

Kos Posted with a Kattle Kart o’ Komments!!

Michigan Liberal with a … multitude of meh???!!!

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Chairman Dickie Amway China Magic Sign Day!

November 3, 2006

Comrade Dickie Amway China Magic Sign Day!

Greetings Comrades! Today is a glorious day for all by my proclamation! All will be happier, wealthier with whiter teeth on Chairman Dickie Amway China Magic Sign Day! Actually, none will be wealthier or have whiter teeth except Chairman Dickie and the party leaders, but all will be happier in our great wealth and not mind if their own teeth crumble for lack of health care.

The crack team at CHUDD has produced these patriotic and inspirational signs that all soliders in the Dick Devos Army of Cultural Devolution are requested to display with proud immediacy alongside the mandatory picture of Chairman Dickie, their Amway China Collectible Bear and their Amway Dick Action Figure with karate job-chopping action!

You can look at them one by one like tiny jewels or as a cavalcade of delight! It is suggested that for extra Magic Happiness, to listen to patriotic songs!

Bumper sticker for your Chinese car!

Jobs to China! More jobs to China!

Kos-posted

Attacking the Interweb, One Blog at a Time

Kommie Kittie reports that Dick Devos has placed 20,000 ads – second in the Nation among all candidates! Good, but not good enough! I must spend more, more more! She also reports on Triscuit’s attacks on my old football coach for having a memory. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you have a memory, you can’t be a modern Republican!

Christine Barry has a list of Republican Party Faithful Under Indictment or Convicted and the $100 One Breath Challenge.

Wacko Zacko has fallen into a poll-induced coma and has yet to get his links o’ the day up for today This just in! In the Official Amway Guy poll of 1 likely voter, I WIN* with 100% of the vote – in your FACE, pollsters!! (*+/- 100%)

Over at the Pound Puppies Fan Club, Cordelia Lear is outraged over Saul’s latest pack of lies tying Granholm to people she doesn’t even know and Devos to people he gives money to.

Liberal Lulu says we should fight for our children. I would, I would, it’s just that my face is so deep in the Trough of Tax Breaks that I can’t see them any more!

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Betsy DeVos has her eye on something

November 2, 2006

Betsy DeVos has her eye on Michigan

I can’t figure out what, though. Frankly, it’s kind of creeping me out the way The Billionairess keeps walking around the mansion with a distant look in her eyes, a little half smile on her lips sing-songing “It’ll soon be over now, it’ll soon be over now.”

Rochelle Riley – Rochelle? Is that French? Can we get a deportation order here? – anyway “Madame Rochelle” has written a column titled Don’t forget Betsy DeVos that I hope everyone will skip reading and immediately write an outraged letter to the editor about.
Rile-em-up Riley says that my billion-dollar babycakes was once a nationally known Republican strategist (chairwoman of the Michigan Republican Party for two terms, member of the Republican National Committee and a delegate several times to Republican National Conventions) who state political observers once thought would someday make a great governor. Saulius Maximus responds to that with “She’s someone who would make a great candidate, a great leader. But I don’t see that as a real or practical option.” He does a nice job of delicately skirting the central issue: That Betsy DeVos terrifies even the Republican Party and must be kept far, far away from the media spotlight.

The Columnista then quotes Gil Zeigler, founder of Republicans for Granholm as saying that if Dick DeVos wins “I think she’ll be a very, very powerful first lady. I think he’s too extreme. I think the DeVoses are too extreme. They’re part of the group that has taken the party to the far right, and that’s not what our party was.” Gil, you’re just sore because Betsy played harder ball than a moderate like you could take.

I think the bottom line here is that a lot of people think that Rochelle’s bottom line is true:

Being first lady might be Betsy DeVos’ only chance to push Michigan to be more conservative, friendlier to families and corporations, and more dedicated to educating children in quality schools, even if those schools are private. So we should pay attention to every Betsy DeVos opinion, past or present.

Because if her husband wins, Michigan could have its first Team Governor.

Team Governor? Do I still get to use the stamper thing on the bills??

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A Birthday Letter from Billionairess Betsy Prince Devos

October 21, 2006

Letter from the Billionairess, Dick Devos Birthday cake
I stumbled on this letter that my beloved wife Betsy “The Billionairess” Devos wrote as I was rooting through her underwear drawers, and it’s so unbearably sweet and thoughtful that I just had to share it with you.

Dear Person Who I Would Cheerfully Drive Over if I Didn’t Need Your Vote,

My husband Dick’s 51st birthday is TODAY, October 21st but I’d really like to make his “gift day” the next day, Sunday October 22nd. Birthday and a Gift Day – Dick Devos is way, way specialer than you are!

On October 22nd, our campaign’s financial disclosure Whaaa-? Oh, I thought for a minute I had to disclose my assets, no worries is due and the kids and I would like to give Dick a birthday present by raising $51,000 for his campaign for Governor against Jennifer Granholm. $51,000 is all it will take to defeat Jenny. That, and a total suspension of rational thought – together Michigan, we can turn off our brains to Make a Difference!

Will you please help out and join the tens of thousands of friends, neighbors, volunteers, grassroots activists and caring citizens who have invested $20, $35, $40 or $100 in our campaign to change Michigan for the better? They’re not exactly our friends and neighbors giving $20. Twenty bucks doesn’t get the grass pressed on your private putting green in OUR neighborhood.

When Governor Granholm attacks my husband, she says things that just aren’t so. When I attack Governor Granholm, I say things that not only aren’t so, but are in poor taste as well. Important distinction! The desperation to get re-elected at all costs makes people behave in disappointing ways. Disappointing! She’s my wife for sure. And let me tell you also that the desperation to be elected for the first time at all costs is even worse. Some days I don’t know if I’m buying an election or mortgaging my political future. I’ve taken so many shots that I’d blow a 4.3 on a Breath-a-lyzer for measuring negative juju!

I’m so proud of the campaign Dick has waged, the vision and plans he has for turning Michigan around, and his love for Michigan shines through. Some people might be confusing that with love of money or power. The key is the eyes. Look into the eyes, you’ll be able to tell. When he wins, his confident, effective, results-oriented leadership will be a gift to the people of Michigan. I love that woman! Not “if” he wins. She speaks with the quiet certainty of faith in her man … or Diebold. Kidding! Michigan actually doesn’t use the Diebold “Republican Special” Model of Voting Machines.

But first we’ve got a campaign to win CHECK!, a birthday to celebrate CHECK!!, a campaign finance disclosure report to file CHE- Report? Reports are hard and if there’s one thing Dick Devos hates, it’s telling anything about money. My motto is “My Business is none of your Business!” and a goal to meet Birthday party for Dick!.

Will you help by making your safe and secure online contribution today?

Gratefully,

The Billionairess

Betsy Prince Devos, my Billionaire Babydoll, I love you. Pay no attention to what they say about my need to keep you gagged and away from the media, all the money you and your family gave to the anti-public school voucher effort, the fact that you said Michigan’s problems were that its jobs were too good, that you suggested we were buying influence with our huge contributions, that your brother Erik Prince is the head of Blackwater USA, the largest private army in the world and the Haliburton of military contractors and – Dang honey, could you try and take it easy here? I got this election thing going on here…
No matter what they say, you’ll alway be my Little Lovey-dovey Lady of Limitless Liability!

Speaking of Erik Prince and Blackwater

Gifts for Dick: Christine Barry gave me some birthday presents … they were … interesting.

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Blackwater USA’s Erik Prince & Dick Devos: Brother-in-laws in Arms

October 20, 2006

Blackwater USA’s Erik Prince & Dick Devos: Brother-in-laws in Arms

Man, I’m glad that shouty guy is gone! He did want me to tell everyone in Michigan how deeply sorry he felt for them. See?? He was disappointed too!!

Anyway, now I can get back on the road to Take Back Michigan for Corporations & Special Interests on my spiffy new trike! The first stop I want to make is to address all those stories in the media about the connection between Dick Devos & Erik Prince, founder of Blackwater USA (one of the world’s largest private army).

What? Only ONE result? And it’s just a letter to the editor. Wow, I guess if the major news media doesn’t see a connection, then there’s no worries!

Still, our mud-wrestling lady Governor might not be content with sticking a big Amway tag on my chest and drag this issue into the election too. Take a memo, Jenny: when we Republicans say “Character matters”, we’re talking about other people’s character!

Erik Prince is the brother of my wife, Betsy Prince Devos. He is a former Navy Seal who worked in the first Bush White House. At the age of 29, he founded a private military company called Blackwater USA. Blackwater and Eric Prince are featured in the Movie Iraq for Sale: The War Profiteers (watch a clip about Erik below!) and also in this post from some liberal guy on the Huffington lady’s blog. Speaking of outrageously liberal, here’s an article from The Nation called Blood is Thicker than Blackwater.

Ahhh! A book!! Burn it!!!!

Weak-kneed Willie over at Michigan Liberal noted that the Virginia Pilot had an in-depth series on Blackwater USA:

Blackwater has rocketed from obscurity to the big time in less than a decade. Peter Singer, author of “Corporate Warriors” and a scholar at the Brookings Institution, a Washington think tank, says that although Blackwater might not be the biggest player in the private military industry, “they’ve certainly gained the biggest profile.”

They’ve done it with deep-pocket backing, high-powered political connections and an uncanny knack for capitalizing on the violent milestones of a turbulent time

This comprehensive Blackwater USA feature (with lots of pictures and video) talks about how Blackwater soldiers are trained, has fun facts on what makes Blackwater different, how darn profitable the company is in these dangerous times, the company’s plans for the future and exciting stuff about how Blackwater operates right here on US soil! I bet that’s a side benefit you never thought of from Dick Devos as President of the USA Michigan’s Governor.

Erik has recently been in the news for donating to the Green Party to siphon votes from Dems in Pennsylvania. Genius! Media Mouse shows that the Prince family and the Devos family donate to a lot of the same organizations, and you can find a bunch more about this exciting topic by searching for “Dick Devos Erik Prince” on Google. Except for this article of course. This one will be our little secret.

Finally, this Unseen War link proves that I am not the weirdest thing on the Internet. Through it, I found this quote by some commie by the name of James Madison: “No nation could preserve its freedom in the midst of continual warfare.”

PS: It would be really, really terrible if some Michigan newspaper reporter used these sources to write an article about the connection between Dick Devos & Erik Prince and Blackwater. Remember, news is what YOU say it is, media people!

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Dick Devos “Hooray for Amway” Video

October 1, 2006

Don’t think of it as a rerun, think of it as an old friend! I have watched this so many times that the Billionairess finds herself humming the tune in spite of herself! It makes her mad but I know she secretly loves it too! Let’s watch it again and send it to all of our family & friends. Devos for President … I mean Dick Devos for Governor.

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Saturday Morning Cartoons with Dick Devos

September 30, 2006

I love elephants – there’s so big and funny and they’re afraid of MICE! SILLY!!!
I’m not afraid of anything. Except for Betsy’s brother Eric and his army. And class action lawsuits. And the thought that the Michigan press might accidentally investigate me. And bunnymen.

I think that Michigan Progress made this. Welcome to “the List”.