Archive for the ‘money money money!’ Category

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It came from beyond…

November 7, 2006

Attack of the Killer Heads

In a time of darkness, when Hope seemed to have gone out for a pack of smokes and ended up on a boat to China, when television seemed to have become nothing more than an ad delivery service, when the most flawed candidate in the history of our state seemed like a credible threat, well, in those days the people of Michigan finally got a chance to have their say.

Vote, people, and get your friends, relatives and total strangers to do the same.

Michigan’s future isn’t for sale.

UPDATES GALORE:

Ominous music to hum on Election Day!

Kos Posted with a Kattle Kart o’ Komments!!

Michigan Liberal with a … multitude of meh???!!!

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Dick Devos is the King of Bling

November 4, 2006

Sittin on yo can is a vote for the man

Get down on the Gold Digger, Dick DeVos Remix and YouTube it up if you’re a true sports racer … and remember: if you want to be flash, fear the man with all the cash!

Shout out to Ze Frank!

Kriss-Kross-Kos

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Dickie Rich: The Poor Little Rich Candidate

October 26, 2006

The Poor Little Rich’s Boy

A search on “Dick Devos is Rich” leaves little doubt that Google still has no love the Disembodied Head. It also finds that Diamond Dick is the richest man to run for governor in state history. This little lady notes that Dick Devos has bucked tradition and refused to disclose his tax returns. Memo to Michigan from the gold-plated desk of Dick Devos: You don’t care how much I pay or don’t pay in taxes, you care only about your own taxes. If for some reason you do care, my finances are “an issue we will address openly and directly at the appropriate time”. Which is not now. So bugger off!

Millions!Still, voters are a curious lot (at least as compared to say … reporters) and many still want to know “Well how much money does Dick Devos have?”. The Granholm campaign tried to make this an issue (story) saying “DeVos’ arrogant refusal to open his tax return to public inspection, the way Gov. Granholm and every other recent candidate has done, makes it clear that he is hiding something.” The campaign responded that the allegation was “ludicrous”, which was apparently code for “nothing to hide … except Alterra“.
During the final debate, the Tricky Dick was accused of setting up a Bermuda tax haven to hide profits from Amway’s overseas operations. Sadly, the crack delegation of journalists dispatched to investigate the claims vanished in the Bermuda Triangle.

So how much money does Dick Devos have? The answer is: Dick Devos sure as hell isn’t going to tell you.

Cross-posted as MI-GOV: Dickie Rich, Poor Little Rich’s Boy on Kos. Feel free to steal this picture below for your blog or whatever. In fact, steal whatever the heck you want ’cause Dick Devos sure as hell plans on stealing from you!
More Dollars than Sense!

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Saturday Cartoon Super Bonanza: Amway Guy’s Greatest Hits!

October 21, 2006

WealthyCheck out the nominees over at the Michigan League of Lunchmoney Donors and vote for your favorite Dick Devos movie of 2006. It’s like Cannes, only without the topless beaches and Michael Moore (Michael Moore and topless beach? I think I need to use the facilities now.)

Best Picture: See Dick Run The stick guy is funny and the little girl’s voice is so unbearable cute that she will be making calls about how disappoined she is in Granholm all next week. All that’s missing is a puppy!

Best Performance by a Puppy: Stop Devos I: Puppy Stomp Awww. Stomping puppies? That’s a low blow!! Besides, it’s the Governor’s responsibility to protect puppies from me!

Best Original Score: The Disembodied Head of Dick Devos Music to outsource by!

2nd Best Original Score: I’ve Been Amwayed Also wins Best Director, Best Perfomance by a Disembodied Head, Best Musical Description of the Amway Scam and Tappinest Toes!

Best Foreign Film: Dickenstein (Spain) I admit. I fell asleep but only because I had stayed up all night before watching the Chris Farley film marathon. Farley was a comic genius. His “living in a van down by the river” piece is something I think folks in Michigan don’t appreciate enough. If elected, I vow that you will.


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Dick Devos Wants ALL Your Money, Michigan

October 12, 2006

Dick Devos Wants ALL Your Money, Michigan
Gonna make this one as simple as possible, Michiguys and Michigals because the election is less than a month away and the Head’s gotta get back on the Road for Change. It’s time to take back Michigan for the corporations and special interests and we need every vote, and every last dollar!

Michigan is on the rocks, your life sucks and we’re all doomed. The one chance we got is to make this state boom again with business. The auto industry is gone and she ain’t coming back. Michigan needs to find a new business to be in, and Dick Devos knows business.

There are those who say that it’s a bad time for a billions in Michigan tax cuts, but everyone knows that when the going gets tough, the tough cut taxes. The best place to start cutting is for the most wealthy and that means me! Sure, Dick Devos would benefit from the elimination of the personal property tax and the schools and local governments that depend on the tax for 15/20/50%+ of their operating budgets would be in trouble, but Dick Devos is a businessman, just like Dick Cheney or George W. Bush. Dick Devos will figure it out … after you elect him. Probably.

There’s some pink panties out there (Yeah, I’m looking at YOU L. Brooks Patterson!) saying “We can’t keep the police and firemen on the street and the school doors open if you take away this tax.” Quit yer whinin’, I’m telling you that I’ll figure it out – I’m a businessman. In business. You know, Amway.

So just close your eyes, send in your absentee ballot early, buckle up extra tight and get ready to ride with Dick Devos into a tax-free future, Michigan.

PS: If you’re thinking that you can escape your fate by voting against Dick Devos, maybe you can … a little, but check out the riff Soup Lady is laying down:

For 99 percent of Michiganders, the Bush tax cuts are much smaller than the share of the increased national debt they’ll have to pay off. Only the wealthiest one percent are net winners.

Everyone in the wealthiest 1% raise your hands. Go on, stick ’em up, Michigan.
Fear the Head people, Fear the Head.

Props to the Forbes House of Billionaire Masks for the really cool mask, cross-posted to King of France.

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DHTV: The Disembodied Head of Dick Devos Music Video

October 11, 2006

Top of the charts baby!

Also available on DHTV @ YouTube and via The Fly heDD of Gangstah Dicky on MySpace (for the kids!)

You can also go tell the King of France what you think about it (that’s Daily Kos for you new viewers from the Metro Times!)

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Dick Devos (secret) Debate Plan

October 10, 2006

Dick Devos (secret) Debate Plan

Dick Devos caught a lot of flack at the last debate for Michigan Governor for not having a plan for either Michigan or the debate.  Because you have all been so loyal and I consider you like a downline to me, I have decided to share my simple plan for Michigan and tonight’s debate with you.

My plan is deceptively simple but I must say brilliant. For months, the Campaign for Big Bucks has been trying to hide the fact that Dick Devos is a Republican (look it up, the answer surprised me!). Tonight it’s time for Dick Devos to come out of the political closet, to embrace his Republican soul and use the power of Republican ideals like untrammeled free trade, tax breaks for corporations who outsource jobs and a ceaseless committment to making the lives of our richest Americans better and better to steamroll Governor Granholm.

Now a lot of people might say “Dick, your vaunted Republican ideals are destroying our nation by taking money from education and essential services. You are racking up monstrous debts and putting our nation in hock to foreign bankers.” To them I say: “Don’t worry about the fact that your share of the national debt is climbing faster than a monkey after the last banana on the tree – the important thing is that I am doing just fine. What’s more, all my rich friends who attend $1000 a plate Republican fundraisers are doing just fine too!”

Dick's House is a hell of a lot bigger than your rathole!Do you think we’re just going to keep all that money for ourselves and pass our fortunes along to our families intact by repealing the estate tax? Those of you who answered “Yes” should be ashamed of yourselves. Being rich is hard, and it’s even harder if you don’t pay people to clean up after you and serve you.

So rest assured Michigan, that as the fortunes of Dick Devos and his rich friends grow through our support of policies like slashing the estate tax and encouraging outsourcing of not just jobs, but whole companies, we will find plenty of jobs for you to do.

Better dress for it though. Those mansion gutters can be such a mess.

Librul ‘Lert CHUDD Intelligence has identified that the Michigan Liberal Army (MLA) plans a liveblogging event in Grand Rapids and on MichiganLiberal.com.  In order to thwart their nefarious schemes, the Head will be taking the fight to them!