In a time of darkness, when Hope seemed to have gone out for a pack of smokes and ended up on a boat to China, when television seemed to have become nothing more than an ad delivery service, when the most flawed candidate in the history of our state seemed like a credible threat, well, in those days the people of Michigan finally got a chance to have their say.
Vote, people, and get your friends, relatives and total strangers to do the same.
Get down on the Gold Digger, Dick DeVos Remix and YouTube it up if you’re a true sports racer … and remember: if you want to be flash, fear the man with all the cash!
I can’t figure out what, though. Frankly, it’s kind of creeping me out the way The Billionairess keeps walking around the mansion with a distant look in her eyes, a little half smile on her lips sing-songing “It’ll soon be over now, it’ll soon be over now.”
Rochelle Riley – Rochelle? Is that French? Can we get a deportation order here? – anyway “Madame Rochelle” has written a column titled Don’t forget Betsy DeVos that I hope everyone will skip reading and immediately write an outraged letter to the editor about.
Rile-em-up Riley says that my billion-dollar babycakes was once a nationally known Republican strategist (chairwoman of the Michigan Republican Party for two terms, member of the Republican National Committee and a delegate several times to Republican National Conventions) who state political observers once thought would someday make a great governor. Saulius Maximus responds to that with “She’s someone who would make a great candidate, a great leader. But I don’t see that as a real or practical option.” He does a nice job of delicately skirting the central issue: That Betsy DeVos terrifies even the Republican Party and must be kept far, far away from the media spotlight.
The Columnista then quotes Gil Zeigler, founder of Republicans for Granholm as saying that if Dick DeVos wins “I think she’ll be a very, very powerful first lady. I think he’s too extreme. I think the DeVoses are too extreme. They’re part of the group that has taken the party to the far right, and that’s not what our party was.” Gil, you’re just sore because Betsy played harder ball than a moderate like you could take.
I think the bottom line here is that a lot of people think that Rochelle’s bottom line is true:
Being first lady might be Betsy DeVos’ only chance to push Michigan to be more conservative, friendlier to families and corporations, and more dedicated to educating children in quality schools, even if those schools are private. So we should pay attention to every Betsy DeVos opinion, past or present.
Because if her husband wins, Michigan could have its first Team Governor.
Team Governor? Do I still get to use the stamper thing on the bills??
As I was floating around on The Google, I realized it had been a long time since I went out and viciously attacked the liberal blog-o-thingee. First, I had to take the edge off my hunger – a Head develops a powerful appetite on the road for Big Bucks – so I decided to find some cookies. Imagine my surprise when an innocent search for “SPRINKLES” led to Liberal Lucy’s Lady Leader Lovefest, a relatively new blog about how we become closer as a community, stronger as a state, and more invested as global players. Closer? Keep your distance: I have a private army and I’m not afraid to use it!
I’ll get back to the cookies but first, Reasons to Say No to Dick and Yes to Jen? These are a bunch of bite-sized (mmm) but well thought out arguments against Dick Devos and for the Gal Governor Jennifer Granholm. Let me refute quickly:
Now back to the cookie thing. Lucy has apparently some sort of degree in Cookieology and has developed an equation of Politics + Cooking = Democracy Cookies. She explains:
Here’s how they work. My friends and co-workers have been alerted that if they show up with an “I Voted” Sticker on November 7th (or promise they filled out an absentee ballot) they get some Democracy Cookies. This is not a bribe, and I’m not asking people to vote for any particular candidate or any particular way on a ballot/millage proposal. This is just a way of saying how much I appreciate people participating in the democracy process by voting, period.
I’m not sure how to respond to this. I feel like I should offer people money or something if they vote but I’m not sure how people going out to vote helps ME. Really, all I want is some of those sprinkles…
I stumbled on this letter that my beloved wife Betsy “The Billionairess” Devos wrote as I was rooting through her underwear drawers, and it’s so unbearably sweet and thoughtful that I just had to share it with you.
Dear Person Who I Would Cheerfully Drive Over if I Didn’t Need Your Vote,
My husband Dick’s 51st birthday is TODAY, October 21st but I’d really like to make his “gift day” the next day, Sunday October 22nd. Birthday and a Gift Day – Dick Devos is way, way specialer than you are!
On October 22nd, our campaign’s financial disclosure Whaaa-? Oh, I thought for a minute I had to disclose my assets, no worries is due and the kids and I would like to give Dick a birthday present by raising $51,000 for his campaign for Governor against Jennifer Granholm. $51,000 is all it will take to defeat Jenny. That, and a total suspension of rational thought – together Michigan, we can turn off our brains to Make a Difference!
Will you please help out and join the tens of thousands of friends, neighbors, volunteers, grassroots activists and caring citizens who have invested $20, $35, $40 or $100 in our campaign to change Michigan for the better? They’re not exactly our friends and neighbors giving $20. Twenty bucks doesn’t get the grass pressed on your private putting green in OUR neighborhood.
When Governor Granholm attacks my husband, she says things that just aren’t so. When I attack Governor Granholm, I say things that not only aren’t so, but are in poor taste as well. Important distinction! The desperation to get re-elected at all costs makes people behave in disappointing ways. Disappointing! She’s my wife for sure. And let me tell you also that the desperation to be elected for the first time at all costs is even worse. Some days I don’t know if I’m buying an election or mortgaging my political future. I’ve taken so many shots that I’d blow a 4.3 on a Breath-a-lyzer for measuring negative juju!
I’m so proud of the campaign Dick has waged, the vision and plans he has for turning Michigan around, and his love for Michigan shines through. Some people might be confusing that with love of money or power. The key is the eyes. Look into the eyes, you’ll be able to tell. When he wins, his confident, effective, results-oriented leadership will be a gift to the people of Michigan. I love that woman! Not “if” he wins. She speaks with the quiet certainty of faith in her man … or Diebold. Kidding!Michigan actually doesn’t use the Diebold “Republican Special” Model of Voting Machines.
But first we’ve got a campaign to win CHECK!, a birthday to celebrate CHECK!!, a campaign finance disclosure report to file CHE- Report? Reports are hard and if there’s one thing Dick Devos hates, it’s telling anything about money. My motto is “My Business is none of your Business!” and a goal to meet Birthday party for Dick!.
Yes daddyos & mommyos and people who hate America and choose to be childlessos, it’s time for Tuesday Afternoon Chart Toppers with your host, the Disembodied Head who’s baking up that Payola Bread. This week’s smash single that’s burning up the charts, the ozone layer and the Pere Marquette State Forest is Secret Amway Man starring the Hunk with the MLM Junk, Darlin’ Dick Devos!*
Beware of pretty faces that you find,
a pretty face can hide an evil mind
Kids these days don’t know WHAT they’re missing!
*If you’re curious to know more about this dashing International Man of Mystery, be sure to read the tell-nothing biography that is banned on 5 continents, the island territory of Guam and within the city limits of Ada: Dick Devos: The Unauthorized Biography.
If you want to know more about Amway, I can’t stop you from going to this web site about Amway. But really, can’t we just forget that most of Dick Devos’s money comes from Amway and pretend it came from the Lottery or something?
This had moved from the link where I found it, so I’m posting it here in case it moves again because I really want everyone to hear all the nice things Laura Bush (the wonderful woman who the American people elected to be First Lady of the United States) had to say about Dick Devos in a reception at the Oakland Hills Country Club.
I also want to once again pass along my heartfelt thanks to Laura’s husband, He Of Whom Republicans Will Not Speak, for staying far, far away from Michigan. Love you, Dubya, but keep out of Michigan for another 5 weeks!! BFF!!!
Click below for Laura Bush’s speech endorsing Dick Devos (and scroll waaaay down for the Detroit Free Press article)! Read the rest of this entry ?
It would not be one bit surprising if Dick Devos decided to use the Devos family fortune to establish or seed a Michigan-wide version of the Kalamazoo Promise or attempted some similar vote-buying disguised as philanthropy ploy because make no mistake about it, Dick Devos is made of money.
In October, Dick Devos will bury Michigan in a blizzard of money and the only question you should be asking is “What CAN’T Dick Devos buy with his billions?”
PS: Having stolen millions and millions from Amway rubes, I’m not at all concerned about stealing from artists!
Now back to the cookie thing. Lucy has apparently some sort of degree in Cookieology and has developed an equation of 
The Disembodied Head of Dick Devos 
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