Archive for the ‘amway’ Category

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It came from beyond…

November 7, 2006

Attack of the Killer Heads

In a time of darkness, when Hope seemed to have gone out for a pack of smokes and ended up on a boat to China, when television seemed to have become nothing more than an ad delivery service, when the most flawed candidate in the history of our state seemed like a credible threat, well, in those days the people of Michigan finally got a chance to have their say.

Vote, people, and get your friends, relatives and total strangers to do the same.

Michigan’s future isn’t for sale.

UPDATES GALORE:

Ominous music to hum on Election Day!

Kos Posted with a Kattle Kart o’ Komments!!

Michigan Liberal with a … multitude of meh???!!!

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Dick DeVos Dove Hunt 2006

November 5, 2006

Dick DeVos Michigan Dove Hunt 2006
There I was: hovering high above the Michigan interWeb like a proud but disappointed eagle when a fast-dodging mourning dove alerted me to this post by some bird-watcher guy. A bird watcher? With a political opinion? Hello in there, Mr. Red-breasted Nuthatch. Let’s leave politics to the politicians … and the soap guys.

Read the rest of this entry ?

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Dick Devos is the King of Bling

November 4, 2006

Sittin on yo can is a vote for the man

Get down on the Gold Digger, Dick DeVos Remix and YouTube it up if you’re a true sports racer … and remember: if you want to be flash, fear the man with all the cash!

Shout out to Ze Frank!

Kriss-Kross-Kos

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Chairman Dickie Amway China Magic Sign Day!

November 3, 2006

Comrade Dickie Amway China Magic Sign Day!

Greetings Comrades! Today is a glorious day for all by my proclamation! All will be happier, wealthier with whiter teeth on Chairman Dickie Amway China Magic Sign Day! Actually, none will be wealthier or have whiter teeth except Chairman Dickie and the party leaders, but all will be happier in our great wealth and not mind if their own teeth crumble for lack of health care.

The crack team at CHUDD has produced these patriotic and inspirational signs that all soliders in the Dick Devos Army of Cultural Devolution are requested to display with proud immediacy alongside the mandatory picture of Chairman Dickie, their Amway China Collectible Bear and their Amway Dick Action Figure with karate job-chopping action!

You can look at them one by one like tiny jewels or as a cavalcade of delight! It is suggested that for extra Magic Happiness, to listen to patriotic songs!

Bumper sticker for your Chinese car!

Jobs to China! More jobs to China!

Kos-posted

Attacking the Interweb, One Blog at a Time

Kommie Kittie reports that Dick Devos has placed 20,000 ads – second in the Nation among all candidates! Good, but not good enough! I must spend more, more more! She also reports on Triscuit’s attacks on my old football coach for having a memory. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you have a memory, you can’t be a modern Republican!

Christine Barry has a list of Republican Party Faithful Under Indictment or Convicted and the $100 One Breath Challenge.

Wacko Zacko has fallen into a poll-induced coma and has yet to get his links o’ the day up for today This just in! In the Official Amway Guy poll of 1 likely voter, I WIN* with 100% of the vote – in your FACE, pollsters!! (*+/- 100%)

Over at the Pound Puppies Fan Club, Cordelia Lear is outraged over Saul’s latest pack of lies tying Granholm to people she doesn’t even know and Devos to people he gives money to.

Liberal Lulu says we should fight for our children. I would, I would, it’s just that my face is so deep in the Trough of Tax Breaks that I can’t see them any more!

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Dick Devos: Lifestyles of the Rich & Infamous

November 1, 2006

Ode to Dick DeVos by His Disembodied Head

I don’t like to brag, and I don’t like to boast,

But speaking of mansions, I have the most.

I’ve got lots of cars, boats & yachts from a dream,

And if you want to talk planes, well I have fourteen!

My money’s from Amway, Alticor and Quixtar,

It’s multi-level magic that has taken me far!

I’m the richest to run for Michigan’s high seat,

and my spending on ads just cannot be beat!

If elected as Governor, I won’t take a penny,

but don’t ask me for plans, ’cause I haven’t got any!

My strength is in secrets and vague accusations,

and sending Michigan jobs to far foreign nations!

If you vote for DeVos I can promise you true:

Tax breaks for the rich, higher taxes for you!

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Lifestyles of the Rich & Infamous is an exclusive look inside the swanky life of Dick Devos with guest appearances by Gorgeous George Bush, Jailhouse Jack Abramoff and Tricky Tom DeLay! It was made by the Michigan Democrats but you and I know that they’re just jealous!

Kross-posted to KosĀ 

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Michigan’s Dick Devos is WAY beyond Top Secret!

October 30, 2006

Dick Devos is WAY beyond Top Secret!

The campaign is in the home stretch and before things get too crazy, I would like to direct your attention to the phenomenal success of my Campaign for Secrecy! All you h8ers who think that Tricky Dicky can’t do anything right better take a look at my Plan for Secrecy 5.6: The Business of Dick Devos is none of your Business, Michigan:

DeVos won’t release tax returns: “Republican candidate for governor Dick DeVos, a member of one of America’s richest families, says he will not release his entire income tax returns. He says he will provide some summaries of his wealth.” Summaries should be good enough for the people of Michigan and if they’re not, TOO BAD!

How Dick Devos will pay for Michigan tax cuts: While my $2 or $3 billion dollars in tax cuts got slammed by Governor Granholm in the debates, only a few articles got written on the subject, I never was forced to answer the question in the debates and it appears that most everyone is in favor of my “I’ll Figure it out Later” strategy. Don’t ask, cause I won’t tell!

Dick Devos tells Michigan newspapers NOTHING! Michigan Press Association? Can we get this outlawed?

How poor of a communicator is Dick DeVos? How cavalier is the gubernatorial candidate toward the public’s right to know? …

“Thank you for your interest in Dick DeVos’ campaign for change. We respect that your organization is engaged in the public arena. People coming together to address issues is a quintessential American right and tradition. At this time, we will not be responding to your questionnaire.”

No, no — thank you, Mr. DeVos, for reminding us of a quintessential press obligation to inform the public to expect the same dismissive treatment from a DeVos administration.

Amway and the Bermuda Tax Haven: “Over the last 3 years, the Michigan Legislature, controlled by Republicans who support the Amway Guy, has enacted laws designating Bermuda as a tax haven country five separate times.” What does it say that a news search for “Amway Bermuda Tax Haven” produces THREE articles and that all of these articles are just about the accusation? I don’t know but I can tell you that Dirty Dick is smiling all the way to the nameless, tax sheltered bank!

The DeVos Alterra Lie: The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel could figure out that “Alterra board chairman Jerry L. Tubergen is executive director of the RDV Corp., the investment vehicle of the DeVos Family, which owns 20% of Alterra.” It’s not a lie if nobody cares!

Dick DeVos and the Magic Apples: Nobody has even heard about this! Like Alterra, only with apples!

Funding the Far Right: In addition to being the largest contributor to George Bush’s re-election and giving money to Tom Delay, the DeVos family has given millions of dollars to organizations that are working to promote rightwing policy through a network of organizations doing advocacy, educational, and legal work. I’m just happy nobody has picked up on the fact that Dick Devos is a Republican! That could be damaging!!

Dick Devos Support for School Vouchers: “Dick DeVos Jr. has used his family’s fortune and status to create an intricate national network of non-profits, political action committees and federal groups known as 527s that effectively fund the political arm of the school voucher movement.” Devos & family are still funding these efforts in other states. If you close your eyes and stick your fingers in your ears, you might have a career as an investigative journalist!

Secret Religious and Social Agendas of Dick DeVos: Whether it’s Intelligent design, undermining the rights of gays, re-criminalizing abortion or breaking down the wall separating church from state, it’s no secret that Dick Devos has a secret agenda. Can I say it’s a matter of personal faith and keep it secret if my faith says that I have to impose it on you?

Disembodied Headquarters would like to thank DemWave for his mad research skillz. His ability to use The Google coupled with something called “curiosity” make us happy that he is not working for a newspaper or TV station.
Don’t forget that Dick Devos is a quitter!

Kross-posted to KosĀ 

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Dick Devos is a Quitter?

October 29, 2006

Jumpy - Loaded though!Some people are saying Dick Devos is a quitter with a record of failure. Look at the Dick DeVos Resume Plan 3.5: Dick DeVos is No Damn Quitter. Richard Marvin “Dick” DeVos is no quitter, people.

I’m gonna rebuttle the heck out of this pack o’ lies and inconvenient truths … just as soon as I watch Transformer Power Hour.

Bye!

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