Archive for August, 2006

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Dick Devos is a Billionaire, and DAMN proud of it!!!

August 31, 2006

Marching for the Big Bucks!!

Finally, a group that lets me be me! Should I be ashamed that my father was a shrewd businessman? Heck No! I should raise my banner high and proclaim “Dick Devos is Rich!” “Dick Devos is REALLY rich!!” “Holy crap is Dick Devos just rolling and rolling in money like a fat and happy pig!!!”

Billionaires for Bush is exactly the kind of site we need to see more of on the INTERNET. And look, there’s even a Michigan chapter!

Betsybaby, get out DIAMOND checkbook ’cause I feel a powerful donation comin’ on!

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We’re off to see the Wizard…

August 29, 2006

I love this movie. It shows exactly the kind of values I’m working hard to bring to Michigan.

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Can’t we all just join hands and sing Kumbaya or something??

August 28, 2006

Kinder, Gentler and Totally Disconnected from Reality

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Tiny (Thought) Bubbles

August 25, 2006

AnticipatingThe pace of the campaign has been so crazy that I feel we haven’t had time to talk. How are you? Are you leaving Michigan or are you just in dire peril of leaving? It’s all the Governor’s fault. Remember that: “Blame the Governor” (at least until I get elected – after that, we’ll blame other people).

I thought it would be interesting to give you an inside look at what I’m thinking about when I’m “On the Road”, so here’s my report on the UP State Fair:

State Fair…

Rep. Tom Casperson (Proud participant in the Michigan Quality of Life Upgrade Attack Tour with Whackmaster Ted Nugent) and Mayor Judy Schwalbach were excellent guides and hosts for me today at the State Fair in the Upper Peninsula. What a great day, I even had time to eat a pasty (Mmmm … pasties).

As I met and talked with families, they were all very excited to be enjoying the State Fair (I couldn’t let that last – my Road to Change is paved with unhappy faces). But our conversations quickly turned from the jubilee of a fair to the concern about our economy. Since Michigan has an unemployment rate of 7 percent, we are once again tied for one of the worst unemployment rates in the country. Mississippi is the only other state with a higher rate, and they were hit by Hurricane Katrina nearly one year ago (Can you hear the glee I take in saying this? Trust me, the glee was palpable. That’s the problem with writing words: no glee).

We can and must do better for residents of Michigan (I have jobs for all of you at Amway!). As I enjoyed the fair, I couldn’t help but wonder how many of the young children (see? Dick Devos cares!) will be forced to leave our state to find jobs if we don’t turn things around. Michigan is in a crisis and we need to work hard to bring change to our state.

Speaking of Bubbles, here’s more doom & gloom…

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Money Talks, and it says “You better do what the hell Dick Devos says, George Bush.”

August 24, 2006

Do what the Head says, President Bush
The news media is buzzing about me calling George W Bush on the carpet. There’s all sorts of conjecture out there about the whys and wherefors (not to mention the whatifs and howmuches), but in the end, it’s really very simple. Surprisingly enough, a known communist sympathizer and suspected PETA operative has the clearest take on the issue: “Dick Devos paid for George W. Bush and by darnit, he expects value.”

Exactly. I buy shoes, I expect them to fit. I buy a boat, I expect it to float. I buy a political party, I expect it to do what I say. It’s like the Billionairess says:

“I know a little something about soft money, as my family is the largest single contributor of soft money to the national Republican Party. I have decided, however, to stop taking offense at the suggestion that we are buying influence. Now I simply concede the point. They are right. We do expect some things in return.”

To simplify, the Devos family doesn’t BUY influence, we ARE INFLUENCE MADE FLESH. You’ve heard the phrase “Money Talks”? Well, the kind of money the Devos family has poured into the Republican party not only talks – it walks, dances like a jitterbug and wets itself and cries if we require it.

Right now, We* require that W make Us look like big shots and while I won’t go so far as to say I ordered President Bush to cancel that meeting with the auto execs so I could look good by demanding that he have a meeting right away, I always say to look a lemon right in the eye and make lemonade if the iron is hot.

* I saw that these King guys used to make people call them “We”. I think “We” like that!

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$25,000.00 is a small price to pay to bask in Karl Rove’s aura

August 23, 2006

My Buddy Karl Rove

Apparently, the the commies are jealous of our social calendar. Tip for you from the Billionairess: your social life would be much more rewarding if you worried about your china patterns instead of patterns of corruption!
Republican National Committee chairman Ken “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Mehlman and my good buddy Karl Rove will bless the good people of Michigan (ie: those with plenty of money and a Lansing Country Club membership and/or those who have $25,000 a plate to plunk down) with their presence today.

I thought I would share this photo from my scrapbook with you.

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Dick Devos CAN Relate (he just doesn’t want to)

August 22, 2006

Pretending to Be SadIf I had heartstrings (or a heart), this letter to the editor from the Grand Rapids Press would really tug at them.

DeVos can’t relate

I commend Sue Guy for the wonderful letter she wrote about Dick DeVos (“DeVos’ deep pockets,” Pulse, Aug. 08). I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m one of those people who lives every day in poverty. We work seven days a week 10 hours a day and still don’t have the money to pay rent. Most of us can’t get the health care we need or buy drugs we need because we just don’t make the money we need to live. So, we have to cut something out of our lives.

DeVos needs to come down to where we live, do our jobs and see what its like. Try eating Spam three times a week, or go without seeing a doctor, these are just facts of life for real people. I wish I could just blow my money, must be nice to go out to eat. Must be nice to not die from the heat or freeze from the cold, or even have money to buy a pair of shoes.

Just like in the Ten Commandments when Moses held a high office and was cut down to live with the real people. He found out only then what its like to have a hard life. And only then did he realize he had to do something to free his people. DeVos just doesn’t get it and never will.

MARYE PUNCHES/Wyoming

I thought I would respond to Mayre and the countless others who are suffering under the evil domination of Gov. Granholm.

Dear Marye,

Your letter touched me. At least it would have touched me if I weren’t just a Disembodied Head, floating far above the concerns of mere mortals such as yourself. I would love to come down and see how you live, but quite frankly I’m not comfortable in communities that aren’t gated. Besides, I can tell by reading that your story is one of despair. Jittery Jenny Granholm has been your Governor for 4 years and it’s actually all her fault. I know you’re saying “But what about the Republican majority in both the Senate and the House?” but I’m telling you that I have met that majority and if you expect them to help you, you’re just asking to be even sadder than you already are.

I have never tried Spam. Is it like foie gras? I’m sure if I did have to eat this Spam I would eat it the same way you do, probably under glass and served with a Pomerol Château Pétrus or some such. As to dying from the heat or freezing from the cold, let me tell you that I have caught terrible chills many times from $1000 dollar a plate fundraisers when the air conditioning was set too high and just last week when I got into my Lexus, the seats were so hot that I started sweating.

As to the shoes thing, while it might seem that Dick Devos has more shoes than Imelda Marcos, I actually probably have as many pairs of hand-tooled, Italian loafers in my shoe closet as you do!

In closing, everything is Granholm’s fault and I hold my Spam fork just like you do!

Your Pal,

The Disembodied Head of Dick Devos

PS: If money is a concern, I have some materials you might wish to look at.