Archive for the ‘yankees’ Category

h1

It came from beyond…

November 7, 2006

Attack of the Killer Heads

In a time of darkness, when Hope seemed to have gone out for a pack of smokes and ended up on a boat to China, when television seemed to have become nothing more than an ad delivery service, when the most flawed candidate in the history of our state seemed like a credible threat, well, in those days the people of Michigan finally got a chance to have their say.

Vote, people, and get your friends, relatives and total strangers to do the same.

Michigan’s future isn’t for sale.

UPDATES GALORE:

Ominous music to hum on Election Day!

Kos Posted with a Kattle Kart o’ Komments!!

Michigan Liberal with a … multitude of meh???!!!

Advertisements
h1

Dickiewood Squares: Good Fellas Edition!

November 6, 2006

Hollywood Dick Devos!

Let’s have a big TV-Land welcome for everyone’s favorite ad buying billionaire, Hollywood Dick Devos! It’s time to meet our celebrity guests. If you don’t have time to click the links, you are encouraged to mouse over them. Also, please don’t wonder why almost everyone who is speaking for Dick DeVos is either from out of Michigan or is in his family – it’s bad manners!

President George Bush: Although Dubya has been persona non seeya on behalf of Amway Dick this campaign season (’cause the Dickster said “you stay the hell away, Toxic George“), never forget that the DeVos family was the #1 contributor to Bush/Cheney 2004.

VP Deadeye Dick Cheney – see above, and don’t turn your back on him – he’ll rob you blind!

2008 Presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani – if DeVos manages to buy a miracle, what’s the over/under on DeVos quitting to run as Rudy’s VP in 2008?

Rev. James Dobson of Focus on the Family – Dick & Betsy love themselves some far, far right causes and few more than that of the Reverend of Right who focuses on the family as he defines it like a killer laser of intolerance.

Fundraiser and Felon Jack Abramoff – It’s unfair to single out Dick for taking Jailhouse Jack on his Potomac River Cruise aboard his yacht Enterprise because really, what powerful Republican didn’t get down with Abramoff?

Dealmaker, Cashtaker, Lawbreaker Tom DeLayTom sez thanks: “RAD (Restoring American Dream PAC, founded by Dick DeVos) has played an essential role in maintaining Republican control of the House of Representatives in both 1998 and 2000.”

Evil Genius Karl Rove – Hey, Dick & K-Street are “just friends“!

CEO Superstar Lee Iacocca – Lee lives in California and although his “turnaround” of Chrysler involved a heady infusion of taxpayer dollars, he’s always willing to fire up the charm if the price is right!

Billionairess Betsy DeVos – My Billion-dollar Baby-doll has been told to keep quiet … at least until after the election! I love her, scary eyes and all!

Kos-posted!

h1

Dick Devos Beats the Yankees!

October 8, 2006

Dick Devos Amway Guy Curse Bombs the NY Yankees

AT LAST IT CAN BE TOLD!! The true story of how the New York Yankees, the Greatest Lineup in Baseball History was laid low by one Head, one Curse, one Plan for Michigan!

Dick in a Spartan Hat - GO BLUE!! :pLast week Michigan’s beloved Detroit Tigers (at least that’s what the pollsters tell me) appeared to be all washed up. When Michigan Republican candidate for Governor Dick Devos sees a problem, he doesn’t think, he just jumps right in and says he’s disappointed about it! That still might not have been enough, but one of the bright boys down at CHUDD came up with the idea of REVERSING the polarity on the famous “Curse of the Amway Guy“, the terrible hex that Dick Devos is able to throw on sports teams through nothing more than showing up at the game and schmoozing for votes! The Curse nearly ended the Tigers’ season and turned the MSU Spartans into a Pop Warner football team, but would it be enough to take down the Yankees sky-high payroll?

Don’t worry A-Rod, Dick Devos will run for President!Since I’m inable to think for myself, I decided it sounded like a splendid idea! I changed my name to protect myself from the rumored Disembodied Head of George Steinbrenner and went on the road to visit hallowed Yankee Stadium. Die-hard New York Yankee fans were a bit stand-offish at first, but when I showed them my plans for Michigan and Detroit, they warmed right up to me!

I think I laid it on a little thick Wednesday night, causing a rainout and almost getting hit by lightning. On Thursday, I increased my elevation to 900 feet and concentrated on how disappointed I was that the people of Michigan can’t stop talking about all the bad things Dick Devos has done. That worked great, except for when Johnny Damon got a home run because I had to flee a swarm of pigeons who thought I was a bag of popcorn.

Disembodied Head of Joe Lieberman ... with lasersOn Friday, I was all for returning to Michigan and watching the game at Comerica Park, but everyone at CHUDD started screaming, crying and carrying on so much about “bad mojo transferrence” and “negative downtalking vibes” that they were able to convince me to remain hovering over Yankee Stadium. I did get to listen to most of the game by following a traffic copter around (until they mistook me for the Disembodied Head of Joe Lieberman and flew off). I was amazed to find out that in addition to being a great singer, that Kenny Rogers is a pretty good pitcher too!

Dick Devos of Amway Tours New York CityI spent the day Saturday just taking in the sights of the Big Apple. The Billionairess and I go there a lot, but usually we’re shopping for shoes with Condi or attending some fancy Republican fundraiser or something. I really enjoyed myself just hanging around with the common folk, at least until they scrambled the fighter jets to chase me away from Lady Liberty. I disguised myself as a little black raincloud let my love rain down on “The House that Lt Gov Candidate Ruth Johnson Built”. Towards the end of the game, I figured that even my incredible powers of game-hexing wouldn’t be enough to turn the tide and zipped back to Detroit to catch the last inning. Then Joel Zumaya spotted me after the Posada home run and drove me off with a hail of 103 MPH fastballs.

So Michigan, forget about Jim Leyland and the gutsy Tigers, the real credit for this win goes to the Disembodied Head of Dick Devos and the Curse of Amway Guy! And Oakland A’s fans and the rest of America: Fear Me … but be my friend on MySpace!

Old English D, New Money D!