Archive for the ‘meat’ Category

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It came from beyond…

November 7, 2006

Attack of the Killer Heads

In a time of darkness, when Hope seemed to have gone out for a pack of smokes and ended up on a boat to China, when television seemed to have become nothing more than an ad delivery service, when the most flawed candidate in the history of our state seemed like a credible threat, well, in those days the people of Michigan finally got a chance to have their say.

Vote, people, and get your friends, relatives and total strangers to do the same.

Michigan’s future isn’t for sale.

UPDATES GALORE:

Ominous music to hum on Election Day!

Kos Posted with a Kattle Kart o’ Komments!!

Michigan Liberal with a … multitude of meh???!!!

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I’m Conservative, Loud & Disappointed … can I have a cookie too?

October 27, 2006

Liberal, Loud & Proud?

As I was floating around on The Google, I realized it had been a long time since I went out and viciously attacked the liberal blog-o-thingee. First, I had to take the edge off my hunger – a Head develops a powerful appetite on the road for Big Bucks – so I decided to find some cookies. Imagine my surprise when an innocent search for “SPRINKLES” led to Liberal Lucy’s Lady Leader Lovefest, a relatively new blog about how we become closer as a community, stronger as a state, and more invested as global players. Closer? Keep your distance: I have a private army and I’m not afraid to use it!

I’ll get back to the cookies but first, Reasons to Say No to Dick and Yes to Jen? These are a bunch of bite-sized (mmm) but well thought out arguments against Dick Devos and for the Gal Governor Jennifer Granholm. Let me refute quickly:

Recipe for DisasterNow back to the cookie thing. Lucy has apparently some sort of degree in Cookieology and has developed an equation of Politics + Cooking = Democracy Cookies. She explains:

Here’s how they work. My friends and co-workers have been alerted that if they show up with an “I Voted” Sticker on November 7th (or promise they filled out an absentee ballot) they get some Democracy Cookies. This is not a bribe, and I’m not asking people to vote for any particular candidate or any particular way on a ballot/millage proposal. This is just a way of saying how much I appreciate people participating in the democracy process by voting, period.

I’m not sure how to respond to this. I feel like I should offer people money or something if they vote but I’m not sure how people going out to vote helps ME. Really, all I want is some of those sprinkles…

(cross-posted to Kos)

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$25,000.00 is a small price to pay to bask in Karl Rove’s aura

August 23, 2006

My Buddy Karl Rove

Apparently, the the commies are jealous of our social calendar. Tip for you from the Billionairess: your social life would be much more rewarding if you worried about your china patterns instead of patterns of corruption!
Republican National Committee chairman Ken “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Mehlman and my good buddy Karl Rove will bless the good people of Michigan (ie: those with plenty of money and a Lansing Country Club membership and/or those who have $25,000 a plate to plunk down) with their presence today.

I thought I would share this photo from my scrapbook with you.

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Dick Devos CAN Relate (he just doesn’t want to)

August 22, 2006

Pretending to Be SadIf I had heartstrings (or a heart), this letter to the editor from the Grand Rapids Press would really tug at them.

DeVos can’t relate

I commend Sue Guy for the wonderful letter she wrote about Dick DeVos (“DeVos’ deep pockets,” Pulse, Aug. 08). I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m one of those people who lives every day in poverty. We work seven days a week 10 hours a day and still don’t have the money to pay rent. Most of us can’t get the health care we need or buy drugs we need because we just don’t make the money we need to live. So, we have to cut something out of our lives.

DeVos needs to come down to where we live, do our jobs and see what its like. Try eating Spam three times a week, or go without seeing a doctor, these are just facts of life for real people. I wish I could just blow my money, must be nice to go out to eat. Must be nice to not die from the heat or freeze from the cold, or even have money to buy a pair of shoes.

Just like in the Ten Commandments when Moses held a high office and was cut down to live with the real people. He found out only then what its like to have a hard life. And only then did he realize he had to do something to free his people. DeVos just doesn’t get it and never will.

MARYE PUNCHES/Wyoming

I thought I would respond to Mayre and the countless others who are suffering under the evil domination of Gov. Granholm.

Dear Marye,

Your letter touched me. At least it would have touched me if I weren’t just a Disembodied Head, floating far above the concerns of mere mortals such as yourself. I would love to come down and see how you live, but quite frankly I’m not comfortable in communities that aren’t gated. Besides, I can tell by reading that your story is one of despair. Jittery Jenny Granholm has been your Governor for 4 years and it’s actually all her fault. I know you’re saying “But what about the Republican majority in both the Senate and the House?” but I’m telling you that I have met that majority and if you expect them to help you, you’re just asking to be even sadder than you already are.

I have never tried Spam. Is it like foie gras? I’m sure if I did have to eat this Spam I would eat it the same way you do, probably under glass and served with a Pomerol Château Pétrus or some such. As to dying from the heat or freezing from the cold, let me tell you that I have caught terrible chills many times from $1000 dollar a plate fundraisers when the air conditioning was set too high and just last week when I got into my Lexus, the seats were so hot that I started sweating.

As to the shoes thing, while it might seem that Dick Devos has more shoes than Imelda Marcos, I actually probably have as many pairs of hand-tooled, Italian loafers in my shoe closet as you do!

In closing, everything is Granholm’s fault and I hold my Spam fork just like you do!

Your Pal,

The Disembodied Head of Dick Devos

PS: If money is a concern, I have some materials you might wish to look at.

 

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Devos Plan to pay for the SBT Tax Cut

August 18, 2006

Dick Devos Plan to Pay for the SBT Tax Cut

All I’m hearing this days as I drive all over the state, carrying my message of taking back Michigan for the corporations, is “Dick Devos doesn’t have a plan”, “Dick Devos is going to raise taxes once he’s elected”, “Dick Devos ran over my cat”.

Whine, whine, whine – I’m tired of it! Dick Devos stands for cutting taxes so deeply that Michigan bleeds like a stuck pig! And now I can prove it with My Michigan Turnaround Plan 2.0: Bar Graphs and Other Pretty Pictures!

As you can see, my plan replaces EVERY CENT of the $1.8 billion cut that our Republican-led legislature so courageously voted down without a clue of what they’d replace it with.

So in your face, Muskegon Chronicle – I’m sure the communists are very happy to have you doing their work for them. And in your face too, Mr. Tim “More Liberal Than Lenin” Skubick!

Dick Devos has a plan for Michigan, and it’s colorful, easy-to-read, 100% faith-based and endorsed by the Motor City Madman Terrible Ted Whackmaster Nugent!

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The King of France is in the House

July 29, 2006

Fabulously WealthyWell, the commies apparently passed the Head right on up to the King of France himself.

I’m not sure exactly what they’re trying to say (other than “we’re really, really upset that we’re not tan, fit and fabulously wealthy”). There’s so many links in their post that I think I broke my mouse. That’s really gonna put a crimp in things … at least until I switch to one of my other 843 computers!!

I’d respond to their baseless accusations about me and Dick Devos if they’d let me, but apparently they need to have their audience take a full day to determine if in fact they do want to join the Communist Party of America.

Two things I’ll say:

  1. Ted Nugent is twice the man any of you will ever be and you can bet he’d eat any three of you under the barbecue
  2. You’re on “the List”, Kosovo.