Archive for the ‘china’ Category

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It came from beyond…

November 7, 2006

Attack of the Killer Heads

In a time of darkness, when Hope seemed to have gone out for a pack of smokes and ended up on a boat to China, when television seemed to have become nothing more than an ad delivery service, when the most flawed candidate in the history of our state seemed like a credible threat, well, in those days the people of Michigan finally got a chance to have their say.

Vote, people, and get your friends, relatives and total strangers to do the same.

Michigan’s future isn’t for sale.

UPDATES GALORE:

Ominous music to hum on Election Day!

Kos Posted with a Kattle Kart o’ Komments!!

Michigan Liberal with a … multitude of meh???!!!

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Dick DeVos Dove Hunt 2006

November 5, 2006

Dick DeVos Michigan Dove Hunt 2006
There I was: hovering high above the Michigan interWeb like a proud but disappointed eagle when a fast-dodging mourning dove alerted me to this post by some bird-watcher guy. A bird watcher? With a political opinion? Hello in there, Mr. Red-breasted Nuthatch. Let’s leave politics to the politicians … and the soap guys.

Read the rest of this entry ?

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Chairman Dickie Amway China Magic Sign Day!

November 3, 2006

Comrade Dickie Amway China Magic Sign Day!

Greetings Comrades! Today is a glorious day for all by my proclamation! All will be happier, wealthier with whiter teeth on Chairman Dickie Amway China Magic Sign Day! Actually, none will be wealthier or have whiter teeth except Chairman Dickie and the party leaders, but all will be happier in our great wealth and not mind if their own teeth crumble for lack of health care.

The crack team at CHUDD has produced these patriotic and inspirational signs that all soliders in the Dick Devos Army of Cultural Devolution are requested to display with proud immediacy alongside the mandatory picture of Chairman Dickie, their Amway China Collectible Bear and their Amway Dick Action Figure with karate job-chopping action!

You can look at them one by one like tiny jewels or as a cavalcade of delight! It is suggested that for extra Magic Happiness, to listen to patriotic songs!

Bumper sticker for your Chinese car!

Jobs to China! More jobs to China!

Kos-posted

Attacking the Interweb, One Blog at a Time

Kommie Kittie reports that Dick Devos has placed 20,000 ads – second in the Nation among all candidates! Good, but not good enough! I must spend more, more more! She also reports on Triscuit’s attacks on my old football coach for having a memory. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you have a memory, you can’t be a modern Republican!

Christine Barry has a list of Republican Party Faithful Under Indictment or Convicted and the $100 One Breath Challenge.

Wacko Zacko has fallen into a poll-induced coma and has yet to get his links o’ the day up for today This just in! In the Official Amway Guy poll of 1 likely voter, I WIN* with 100% of the vote – in your FACE, pollsters!! (*+/- 100%)

Over at the Pound Puppies Fan Club, Cordelia Lear is outraged over Saul’s latest pack of lies tying Granholm to people she doesn’t even know and Devos to people he gives money to.

Liberal Lulu says we should fight for our children. I would, I would, it’s just that my face is so deep in the Trough of Tax Breaks that I can’t see them any more!

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Dick Devos: Lifestyles of the Rich & Infamous

November 1, 2006

Ode to Dick DeVos by His Disembodied Head

I don’t like to brag, and I don’t like to boast,

But speaking of mansions, I have the most.

I’ve got lots of cars, boats & yachts from a dream,

And if you want to talk planes, well I have fourteen!

My money’s from Amway, Alticor and Quixtar,

It’s multi-level magic that has taken me far!

I’m the richest to run for Michigan’s high seat,

and my spending on ads just cannot be beat!

If elected as Governor, I won’t take a penny,

but don’t ask me for plans, ’cause I haven’t got any!

My strength is in secrets and vague accusations,

and sending Michigan jobs to far foreign nations!

If you vote for DeVos I can promise you true:

Tax breaks for the rich, higher taxes for you!

###

Lifestyles of the Rich & Infamous is an exclusive look inside the swanky life of Dick Devos with guest appearances by Gorgeous George Bush, Jailhouse Jack Abramoff and Tricky Tom DeLay! It was made by the Michigan Democrats but you and I know that they’re just jealous!

Kross-posted to KosĀ 

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I’m Conservative, Loud & Disappointed … can I have a cookie too?

October 27, 2006

Liberal, Loud & Proud?

As I was floating around on The Google, I realized it had been a long time since I went out and viciously attacked the liberal blog-o-thingee. First, I had to take the edge off my hunger – a Head develops a powerful appetite on the road for Big Bucks – so I decided to find some cookies. Imagine my surprise when an innocent search for “SPRINKLES” led to Liberal Lucy’s Lady Leader Lovefest, a relatively new blog about how we become closer as a community, stronger as a state, and more invested as global players. Closer? Keep your distance: I have a private army and I’m not afraid to use it!

I’ll get back to the cookies but first, Reasons to Say No to Dick and Yes to Jen? These are a bunch of bite-sized (mmm) but well thought out arguments against Dick Devos and for the Gal Governor Jennifer Granholm. Let me refute quickly:

Recipe for DisasterNow back to the cookie thing. Lucy has apparently some sort of degree in Cookieology and has developed an equation of Politics + Cooking = Democracy Cookies. She explains:

Here’s how they work. My friends and co-workers have been alerted that if they show up with an “I Voted” Sticker on November 7th (or promise they filled out an absentee ballot) they get some Democracy Cookies. This is not a bribe, and I’m not asking people to vote for any particular candidate or any particular way on a ballot/millage proposal. This is just a way of saying how much I appreciate people participating in the democracy process by voting, period.

I’m not sure how to respond to this. I feel like I should offer people money or something if they vote but I’m not sure how people going out to vote helps ME. Really, all I want is some of those sprinkles…

(cross-posted to Kos)

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Dick Devos and Amway: Big Problem?

October 24, 2006

Amway, Amway, Amway

With the election for Michigan’s governor just 2 weeks away, I figured I better “come clean” on Dick Devos and Amway/Quixtar/Alticor.

WTF? Can I sue for Disembodied Head Infringment??Now there has been a lot of loose talk by the Governor that Dick Devos & Amway sent jobs to China at the same time he was cutting Amway jobs in Michigan. While that is true, it obscures the central issue of “Just what the heck IS Amway?” I’ll let the Disembodied Daddy lay it down for you:

“The thing I want most for you is to increase your income; but I don’t know any way to do that, other than by increasing your volume. And I don’t know any way to do that, other than by sponsoring some new people who get some customers and retail products on a regular basis.”
Rich DeVos, Directly Speaking, 1983

We should also add that in the United States, the Federal Trade Commission requires Amway to label its products with the message that 54% of Amway recruits make nothing and the rest earn on average $65 a month. (see SkepDic link below) Stupid LAWS. Didn’t get our money’s worth on THAT one.

In a nutshell, THAT is Amway: an organization that enriches those like the Devos family who are at the top. It’s a network marketing organization that gives you a cut of sales to those you recruit, your “downline”. Those at the top do very well indeed, but only 2 of 1,000 distributors will earn even $47,000 a year and 3 in 10,000 will earn $72,000 (see Free Press link below). Those at the bottom either create their own network or end up making little to nothing.

The important thing for you to take away from this is not what a sleazy “soap & hope” scam Amway is or how annoying your own encounters with Amway/Alticor/Quixtar reps have been. The important thing to know is that Dick Devos made a heck of a lot of money because his daddy was smart enough to figure out that the top of the pyramid was a great place to be!

Continuing that great legacy of pyramid building, Dick Devos would now like to ascend to the top of Michigan’s political pyramid. So when Dick Devos says “I am a business man with real world business experience”, remember that AMWAY is the business of Dick Devos and help him build a new pyramid of political power right here in Michigan!

A Mess o’ Amway Links

  • Saturday Cartoon DOUBLE FEATURE: Dick Devos never cleaned up his bedroom (or his Amway) 2x the Amway fun from NBC Dateline and some book.
  • Christine Barry says “The Names Tell the Story” A really long list of people who came out on the bad side of Amway but aren’t THEY really to blame?
  • Amway asks Business Opportunity or Pyramid Scheme? They answer “Business opportunity!” The key point is that the network of independent business owners has to sell consumer products supplied by an established company. The Business of Dick Devos is Business!
  • DeVos Run Puts Amway in the Spotlight DeVos touted the Amway distributorships in a 1998 speech in California as “the best business opportunity in the world,” even as the average active distributor grosses very little — just $115 a month, according to promotional material given to new distributors. In the United States and Canada, Alticor’s 370,000 distributors shared $345 million in bonus and incentive payments in 2005, the company said.
  • SkepDic: Amway is a LEGAL Pyramid “Far from boosting their incomes, the vast majority of those who become Amway distributors, particularly those in ‘the system’, are likely to end up losing money.” Well, I should hope so!
  • Speaking of the Federal Trade Commission on “Pyramid Schemes” “There are two tell-tale signs that a product is simply being used to disguise a pyramid scheme: inventory loading and a lack of retail sales. Inventory loading occurs when a company’s incentive program forces recruits to buy more products than they could ever sell, often at inflated prices. If this occurs throughout the company’s distribution system, the people at the top of the pyramid reap substantial profits, even though little or no product moves to market. The people at the bottom make excessive payments for inventory that simply accumulates in their basements. A lack of retail sales is also a red flag that a pyramid exists. Many pyramid schemes will claim that their product is selling like hot cakes. However, on closer examination, the sales occur only between people inside the pyramid structure or to new recruits joining the structure, not to consumers out in the general public.” Now that never happens with Amway!
  • Amway/Alticor/Quixtar Sucks Mad ’cause Amway attempts to suppress the free speech rights of its critics. Bah! Like daddy Rich says, if it’s free, it’s not worth much.
  • Amway/Quixtar Business Analysis “The general public does not take time to understand the poor overall economics of Quixtar’s ‘buy from your self’ product merchandising plan.” Can I get an “Amen” on that, people?
  • Go over to King of France Central and tell them: I think this is something you need to pay attention to.

Man, what a depressing bunch of words. I feel the need for a song…

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Dick Devos Goals for Michigan’s Final Gubernatorial Debate

October 16, 2006

Dick Devos Debate Goals

Well, it’s already down to the final debate between Governor Jennifer Granholm and Tricky Dicky Devos. I have to say that I have done a stellar job of following Secret Debate Plan Codename Schultz: Dick Devos knows NUH-ZINK!

Tonight the script calls for more of the same! Across the Frogger-like street of politics, Dems like Communista Cat are saying “mean and vindictive little man” and “the GOP will Leave No Child Unexploited in their quest for power” and are thinking they can put the Dickster on ice by harping on things like tax cuts. They forget that this race is about one thing and one thing only: Jennifer Granholm is responsible for the downfall of the auto industry.

Over at the Michigan House of Progressive Pancakes, they’re bemoaning the fact that the 3rd debate will be pre-empted for “Wife Swap”. Did somebody say “Wife Swap“? Meanwhile, the Soup Lady has her own roundup on why Dick Devos is a Bad Idea for Michigan that points to some new blogs on the Michigan block. One of these is Eric Baerren, who uses Dick Devos’s irresponsible tax cuts to take a potshot at my homey Frank “Bootlick” Beckmann of the Detroit Opinion Masquerading as News in Hacktacular. Finally, Wacko Zacko the Liberal Loon rounds the news up (including this stunning endorsement of Dick Devos from the Detroit News).