Dick Devos (secret) Debate PlanOctober 10, 2006
Dick Devos caught a lot of flack at the last debate for Michigan Governor for not having a plan for either Michigan or the debate. Because you have all been so loyal and I consider you like a downline to me, I have decided to share my simple plan for Michigan and tonight’s debate with you.
My plan is deceptively simple but I must say brilliant. For months, the Campaign for Big Bucks has been trying to hide the fact that Dick Devos is a Republican (look it up, the answer surprised me!). Tonight it’s time for Dick Devos to come out of the political closet, to embrace his Republican soul and use the power of Republican ideals like untrammeled free trade, tax breaks for corporations who outsource jobs and a ceaseless committment to making the lives of our richest Americans better and better to steamroll Governor Granholm.
Now a lot of people might say “Dick, your vaunted Republican ideals are destroying our nation by taking money from education and essential services. You are racking up monstrous debts and putting our nation in hock to foreign bankers.” To them I say: “Don’t worry about the fact that your share of the national debt is climbing faster than a monkey after the last banana on the tree – the important thing is that I am doing just fine. What’s more, all my rich friends who attend $1000 a plate Republican fundraisers are doing just fine too!”
Do you think we’re just going to keep all that money for ourselves and pass our fortunes along to our families intact by repealing the estate tax? Those of you who answered “Yes” should be ashamed of yourselves. Being rich is hard, and it’s even harder if you don’t pay people to clean up after you and serve you.
So rest assured Michigan, that as the fortunes of Dick Devos and his rich friends grow through our support of policies like slashing the estate tax and encouraging outsourcing of not just jobs, but whole companies, we will find plenty of jobs for you to do.
Better dress for it though. Those mansion gutters can be such a mess.
Librul ‘Lert CHUDD Intelligence has identified that the Michigan Liberal Army (MLA) plans a liveblogging event in Grand Rapids and on MichiganLiberal.com. In order to thwart their nefarious schemes, the Head will be taking the fight to them!