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Dick Devos CAN Relate (he just doesn’t want to)

August 22, 2006

Pretending to Be SadIf I had heartstrings (or a heart), this letter to the editor from the Grand Rapids Press would really tug at them.

DeVos can’t relate

I commend Sue Guy for the wonderful letter she wrote about Dick DeVos (“DeVos’ deep pockets,” Pulse, Aug. 08). I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m one of those people who lives every day in poverty. We work seven days a week 10 hours a day and still don’t have the money to pay rent. Most of us can’t get the health care we need or buy drugs we need because we just don’t make the money we need to live. So, we have to cut something out of our lives.

DeVos needs to come down to where we live, do our jobs and see what its like. Try eating Spam three times a week, or go without seeing a doctor, these are just facts of life for real people. I wish I could just blow my money, must be nice to go out to eat. Must be nice to not die from the heat or freeze from the cold, or even have money to buy a pair of shoes.

Just like in the Ten Commandments when Moses held a high office and was cut down to live with the real people. He found out only then what its like to have a hard life. And only then did he realize he had to do something to free his people. DeVos just doesn’t get it and never will.

MARYE PUNCHES/Wyoming

I thought I would respond to Mayre and the countless others who are suffering under the evil domination of Gov. Granholm.

Dear Marye,

Your letter touched me. At least it would have touched me if I weren’t just a Disembodied Head, floating far above the concerns of mere mortals such as yourself. I would love to come down and see how you live, but quite frankly I’m not comfortable in communities that aren’t gated. Besides, I can tell by reading that your story is one of despair. Jittery Jenny Granholm has been your Governor for 4 years and it’s actually all her fault. I know you’re saying “But what about the Republican majority in both the Senate and the House?” but I’m telling you that I have met that majority and if you expect them to help you, you’re just asking to be even sadder than you already are.

I have never tried Spam. Is it like foie gras? I’m sure if I did have to eat this Spam I would eat it the same way you do, probably under glass and served with a Pomerol Château Pétrus or some such. As to dying from the heat or freezing from the cold, let me tell you that I have caught terrible chills many times from $1000 dollar a plate fundraisers when the air conditioning was set too high and just last week when I got into my Lexus, the seats were so hot that I started sweating.

As to the shoes thing, while it might seem that Dick Devos has more shoes than Imelda Marcos, I actually probably have as many pairs of hand-tooled, Italian loafers in my shoe closet as you do!

In closing, everything is Granholm’s fault and I hold my Spam fork just like you do!

Your Pal,

The Disembodied Head of Dick Devos

PS: If money is a concern, I have some materials you might wish to look at.

 

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