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Congratulatoriations from Michigan’s Governor-in-waiting!

August 9, 2006

Devos Held Hostage!

Nobody has yet answered my Call to Freedom 2.0: Get Me Outta Here, so I missed the chance to shovel money into the pockets of congratulate yesterday’s Republican winners, so here’s some messages for the winners and losers:

To Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard, I give a hearty salute to his message of security over liberty. Surrender to Mike’s message of fear!

To Little Debbie Stabenow, I’d like to say: there’s a new sheriff in town and it’s just a matter of time before you’re behind bars … or baking brownies like a woman should.

To outgoing Battle Creek Representative Joe “Red Joe” Schwarz, I say “You can dress a commie up, but you can’t re-elect him.” I also extend warm thanks and an under-the-table “gift” to everyone behind Schwarz’s defeat.

To Terrible Tim Walberg, I say “Fight the Man, Baby!”. Your heady blend of hatred of immigrants and a man’s firm hand on all matters is nothing less than an inspiration to me! Ride that Harley all over the bleeding hearts!!

And to Jezebel Jenny, I say your time has come … just as soon as I get out of this darned box.

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