On the RUN with Dick Devos

August 7, 2006

TerrifiedAfter a hard week on the Road for the Campaign for Big Bucks, I returned home in the early afternoon on Friday. I had barely gotten comfortable when a desperate squad of Shining Donkey Path Ninjas (well, that’s what it said on their special pajamas) burst into my rumpus room. I tried to fight them off. Failed. No arms.

After about an hour when they debated how they could cuff a person without any wrists, I was whisked to the secret base of the Michigan Caucus. They asked me a bunch of questions about my true intentions if elected but all I would give them is my boiler-plate lies published positions. I was finally able to escape when CHUDD managed to override their video system with footage from my vlog which quickly rendered them unconcious.

I have been spending the last few days in the Dewitt area, eating kibble from bowls on people’s back porches and connecting to the net via stolen wi-fi. I know that it’s not safe to return home now because after the pool guy passed me to pizza guy who passed me to our neighbor Joe, the Billionairess told me “Dick, honey. It’s not safe to return home now.”

I remain in hiding, but I tell you that I will not rest with bringing my message of change and hope to everyone in Michigan who already makes way too much money … just as soon as it’s safe for me to do so.

Be sure to see the initial report from the Michigan Caucus and update from the Michigan Caucus


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