Archive for the ‘money’ Category
In a time of darkness, when Hope seemed to have gone out for a pack of smokes and ended up on a boat to China, when television seemed to have become nothing more than an ad delivery service, when the most flawed candidate in the history of our state seemed like a credible threat, well, in those days the people of Michigan finally got a chance to have their say.
Vote, people, and get your friends, relatives and total strangers to do the same.
Michigan’s future isn’t for sale.
Let’s have a big TV-Land welcome for everyone’s favorite ad buying billionaire, Hollywood Dick Devos! It’s time to meet our celebrity guests. If you don’t have time to click the links, you are encouraged to mouse over them. Also, please don’t wonder why almost everyone who is speaking for Dick DeVos is either from out of Michigan or is in his family – it’s bad manners!
President George Bush: Although Dubya has been persona non seeya on behalf of Amway Dick this campaign season (’cause the Dickster said “you stay the hell away, Toxic George“), never forget that the DeVos family was the #1 contributor to Bush/Cheney 2004.
Rev. James Dobson of Focus on the Family – Dick & Betsy love themselves some far, far right causes and few more than that of the Reverend of Right who focuses on the family as he defines it like a killer laser of intolerance.
Fundraiser and Felon Jack Abramoff – It’s unfair to single out Dick for taking Jailhouse Jack on his Potomac River Cruise aboard his yacht Enterprise because really, what powerful Republican didn’t get down with Abramoff?
Dealmaker, Cashtaker, Lawbreaker Tom DeLay – Tom sez thanks: “RAD (Restoring American Dream PAC, founded by Dick DeVos) has played an essential role in maintaining Republican control of the House of Representatives in both 1998 and 2000.”
CEO Superstar Lee Iacocca – Lee lives in California and although his “turnaround” of Chrysler involved a heady infusion of taxpayer dollars, he’s always willing to fire up the charm if the price is right!
There I was: hovering high above the Michigan interWeb like a proud but disappointed eagle when a fast-dodging mourning dove alerted me to this post by some bird-watcher guy. A bird watcher? With a political opinion? Hello in there, Mr. Red-breasted Nuthatch. Let’s leave politics to the politicians … and the soap guys.
Greetings Comrades! Today is a glorious day for all by my proclamation! All will be happier, wealthier with whiter teeth on Chairman Dickie Amway China Magic Sign Day! Actually, none will be wealthier or have whiter teeth except Chairman Dickie and the party leaders, but all will be happier in our great wealth and not mind if their own teeth crumble for lack of health care.
The crack team at CHUDD has produced these patriotic and inspirational signs that all soliders in the Dick Devos Army of Cultural Devolution are requested to display with proud immediacy alongside the mandatory picture of Chairman Dickie, their Amway China Collectible Bear and their Amway Dick Action Figure with karate job-chopping action!
Attacking the Interweb, One Blog at a Time
Kommie Kittie reports that Dick Devos has placed 20,000 ads – second in the Nation among all candidates! Good, but not good enough! I must spend more, more more! She also reports on Triscuit’s attacks on my old football coach for having a memory. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you have a memory, you can’t be a modern Republican!
Christine Barry has a list of Republican Party Faithful Under Indictment or Convicted and the $100 One Breath Challenge.
Wacko Zacko has fallen into a poll-induced coma and has yet to get his links o’ the day up for today This just in! In the Official Amway Guy poll of 1 likely voter, I WIN* with 100% of the vote – in your FACE, pollsters!! (*+/- 100%)
Over at the Pound Puppies Fan Club, Cordelia Lear is outraged over Saul’s latest pack of lies tying Granholm to people she doesn’t even know and Devos to people he gives money to.
Liberal Lulu says we should fight for our children. I would, I would, it’s just that my face is so deep in the Trough of Tax Breaks that I can’t see them any more!
I can’t figure out what, though. Frankly, it’s kind of creeping me out the way The Billionairess keeps walking around the mansion with a distant look in her eyes, a little half smile on her lips sing-songing “It’ll soon be over now, it’ll soon be over now.”
Rochelle Riley – Rochelle? Is that French? Can we get a deportation order here? – anyway “Madame Rochelle” has written a column titled Don’t forget Betsy DeVos that I hope everyone will skip reading and immediately write an outraged letter to the editor about.
Rile-em-up Riley says that my billion-dollar babycakes was once a nationally known Republican strategist (chairwoman of the Michigan Republican Party for two terms, member of the Republican National Committee and a delegate several times to Republican National Conventions) who state political observers once thought would someday make a great governor. Saulius Maximus responds to that with “She’s someone who would make a great candidate, a great leader. But I don’t see that as a real or practical option.” He does a nice job of delicately skirting the central issue: That Betsy DeVos terrifies even the Republican Party and must be kept far, far away from the media spotlight.
The Columnista then quotes Gil Zeigler, founder of Republicans for Granholm as saying that if Dick DeVos wins “I think she’ll be a very, very powerful first lady. I think he’s too extreme. I think the DeVoses are too extreme. They’re part of the group that has taken the party to the far right, and that’s not what our party was.” Gil, you’re just sore because Betsy played harder ball than a moderate like you could take.
I think the bottom line here is that a lot of people think that Rochelle’s bottom line is true:
Being first lady might be Betsy DeVos’ only chance to push Michigan to be more conservative, friendlier to families and corporations, and more dedicated to educating children in quality schools, even if those schools are private. So we should pay attention to every Betsy DeVos opinion, past or present.
Because if her husband wins, Michigan could have its first Team Governor.
Team Governor? Do I still get to use the stamper thing on the bills??
Ode to Dick DeVos by His Disembodied Head
I don’t like to brag, and I don’t like to boast,
But speaking of mansions, I have the most.
I’ve got lots of cars, boats & yachts from a dream,
And if you want to talk planes, well I have fourteen!
It’s multi-level magic that has taken me far!
I’m the richest to run for Michigan’s high seat,
and my spending on ads just cannot be beat!
If elected as Governor, I won’t take a penny,
but don’t ask me for plans, ’cause I haven’t got any!
My strength is in secrets and vague accusations,
If you vote for DeVos I can promise you true:
Tax breaks for the rich, higher taxes for you!
Lifestyles of the Rich & Infamous is an exclusive look inside the swanky life of Dick Devos with guest appearances by Gorgeous George Bush, Jailhouse Jack Abramoff and Tricky Tom DeLay! It was made by the Michigan Democrats but you and I know that they’re just jealous!
Sometimes you just have to shut the heck up and let the people who can say it better, say it better. Here’s Brian Dickerson of the Detroit Free Press telling undecided voters to ask what sort of fellow spends $35 million dollars of his own money to become governor of Michigan. He discards ego as a motivation and concludes:
What is unique (or at least unusual) about DeVos is his combination of business acumen and religious zeal. Lots of people who have made a killing in the temporal world talk about their religious faith. But DeVos has put his money where his mouth is — or rather, where his mouth has been in the past, and would be today if he were not running for public office in a state where religious zeal makes a lot of voters nervous.
For more than a decade, DeVos and his wife and the tax-exempt foundation they control have funneled millions of dollars to conservative Christian groups that seek to promote school prayer, public assistance for religious education, the criminalization of abortion and the prohibition of embryonic stem cell research, among other causes.
DeVos says he is running for office to promote an economic agenda. But as governor he would be in a position to advance nearly every one of the social agenda items that have preoccupied his adult life — and there’s simply no reason to believe he has suddenly lost interest in doing so.
Trick or treat, Michigan. Be sure to check that candy you got at the Devos Mansion real, real carefully … could be something that’ll make you sick (or worse) in there.
If you’re fond of movies and haven’t seen these yet, you mightwant to see Dick Devos dressing up as George W. Bush and the cult classic Dickenstein: The Making of a Michigan Monster (free scary Dick Devos bloodsucking Amway Guy mask for the first 100 visitors!)
The campaign is in the home stretch and before things get too crazy, I would like to direct your attention to the phenomenal success of my Campaign for Secrecy! All you h8ers who think that Tricky Dicky can’t do anything right better take a look at my Plan for Secrecy 5.6: The Business of Dick Devos is none of your Business, Michigan:
DeVos won’t release tax returns: “Republican candidate for governor Dick DeVos, a member of one of America’s richest families, says he will not release his entire income tax returns. He says he will provide some summaries of his wealth.” Summaries should be good enough for the people of Michigan and if they’re not, TOO BAD!
How Dick Devos will pay for Michigan tax cuts: While my $2 or $3 billion dollars in tax cuts got slammed by Governor Granholm in the debates, only a few articles got written on the subject, I never was forced to answer the question in the debates and it appears that most everyone is in favor of my “I’ll Figure it out Later” strategy. Don’t ask, cause I won’t tell!
Dick Devos tells Michigan newspapers NOTHING! Michigan Press Association? Can we get this outlawed?
How poor of a communicator is Dick DeVos? How cavalier is the gubernatorial candidate toward the public’s right to know? …
“Thank you for your interest in Dick DeVos’ campaign for change. We respect that your organization is engaged in the public arena. People coming together to address issues is a quintessential American right and tradition. At this time, we will not be responding to your questionnaire.”
No, no — thank you, Mr. DeVos, for reminding us of a quintessential press obligation to inform the public to expect the same dismissive treatment from a DeVos administration.
Amway and the Bermuda Tax Haven: “Over the last 3 years, the Michigan Legislature, controlled by Republicans who support the Amway Guy, has enacted laws designating Bermuda as a tax haven country five separate times.” What does it say that a news search for “Amway Bermuda Tax Haven” produces THREE articles and that all of these articles are just about the accusation? I don’t know but I can tell you that Dirty Dick is smiling all the way to the nameless, tax sheltered bank!
The DeVos Alterra Lie: The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel could figure out that “Alterra board chairman Jerry L. Tubergen is executive director of the RDV Corp., the investment vehicle of the DeVos Family, which owns 20% of Alterra.” It’s not a lie if nobody cares!
Dick DeVos and the Magic Apples: Nobody has even heard about this! Like Alterra, only with apples!
Funding the Far Right: In addition to being the largest contributor to George Bush’s re-election and giving money to Tom Delay, the DeVos family has given millions of dollars to organizations that are working to promote rightwing policy through a network of organizations doing advocacy, educational, and legal work. I’m just happy nobody has picked up on the fact that Dick Devos is a Republican! That could be damaging!!
Dick Devos Support for School Vouchers: “Dick DeVos Jr. has used his family’s fortune and status to create an intricate national network of non-profits, political action committees and federal groups known as 527s that effectively fund the political arm of the school voucher movement.” Devos & family are still funding these efforts in other states. If you close your eyes and stick your fingers in your ears, you might have a career as an investigative journalist!
Secret Religious and Social Agendas of Dick DeVos: Whether it’s Intelligent design, undermining the rights of gays, re-criminalizing abortion or breaking down the wall separating church from state, it’s no secret that Dick Devos has a secret agenda. Can I say it’s a matter of personal faith and keep it secret if my faith says that I have to impose it on you?
Disembodied Headquarters would like to thank DemWave for his mad research skillz. His ability to use The Google coupled with something called “curiosity” make us happy that he is not working for a newspaper or TV station.
Don’t forget that Dick Devos is a quitter!